The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
