Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
The uberlube is also flammable
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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