Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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