its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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