so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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