can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
