so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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