can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
