I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
