you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize