Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
