Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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