I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
