Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
