Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
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He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
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Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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