im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
