thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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