omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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