Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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