You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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