I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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