This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
