Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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