Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
