hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
