I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
