how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
