Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
