Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
