bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
