Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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