Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
