I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
