it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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