even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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