I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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