Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
we should paint friendship bongs
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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