his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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