I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize