i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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