google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
