I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
