those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize