I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
These tits shall not be calmed
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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