K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
