The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize