i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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