Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
