we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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