47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
