So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
