so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
