he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
