Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Randomize
