last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
