Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
