i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
