I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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