i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize