I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
